My family is so blessed with all of the support and love we have been getting since my Dads passing. It was weird arriving at the ranch on Monday evening. I had a mixture of emotions. I was sad because the realization that he was not going to be in the house when I opened the door but also some relief that he was not going to be there, because his suffering was over and that he was finally in a better place and his aches and pains were over. He certainly did not deserve to

As of this evening I am the only Joe left in my family. My Dad passed away this evening at about 7:15 MST. Fortunately my sister Colleen was with him and he passed away peacefully. For that I am thankful. My family was not that original with names. When I was growing up my Dad’s parents lived across the yard from us. My grandfather’s name was Joseph P. Sologub, my dads name was Joseph W. Sologub and I am Joseph W. Sologub Jr. When I was growing up. If you said Joe you

Dad is still hanging on. His vitals are somewhat declining especially his Blood Oxygen. Cindy said he had a rough night last night trying to spit up flem. He finally started getting some rest this morning. Today I went and played Pickleball. I had to take a longer route home from the courts due to a water main issue that had my normal route home closed down. This was fine because I needed to run my golf cart battery down so I could charge it. As I was driving around run

It has been a tough last part of the week. My Dad went into the hospital last week with another bacterial UTI that was going septic. He has been on a strong antibiotic to try and keep these UTI’s at bay. He, my Mom and sister Colleen had all contracted a pretty nasty cold. Dad and Colleen went to Urgent care and got tested for Covid and Flu. They both tested negative, but the Friday before last Dad started having symptoms of the UTI (chills, low oxygen, etc). They calle

This Memorial Day has been bittersweet. My Dad is still in the hospital and is struggling, so I would appreciate thoughts and prayers for him. He is more than ready to go, if the good lord would take him. I know that sounds harsh, but he has made his peace and has been wanting to go for a while. He does not desreve the situation he has been in for the past several years. As I have said before there are many things worse than dying and that is the situation he finds himse

We have a group that goes bowling on Friday mornings. I appreciate them still allowing me to join them, because I really do suck. However, I still kind of enjoy doing it, largely because it always reminds me of Jennifer. Yesterday, I could really envision her being there. In my head, I could see and hear her laughing and yucking it up. Yesterday several people were getting some challenging splits, and maybe that was why I was really getting these for the lack of a better

Three years since her passing is quickly approaching and it just is not get any easier not having her here with me. I still come home from places and expect her to be at the house. I still get that sinking feeling when I realize that she is not and never will be. I still struggle with a fair bit of survivor guilt. We had worked hard to get to this point and it just is not fair that she is not here to enjoy the fruit of her labors. I know that she would be extremely pisse

This was a busy weekend. On Saturday our Rotary club helped the Mesquite STEAM Center by hosting a fundraising bowling tournament at the Virgin River Casino. It was fun doing this, Several of my friends participated in the tournament. Which I greatly appreciated. I had bought a bunch of raffle tickets and was lucky to win a couple of the prizes, I was hoping to win some of the golf prizes but I did not. I think Jennifer would have looked forward to participating in this

The Artemis space mission was fascinating to me. The guts those astronauts have is pretty amazing, but the payoff of the views and experiences has to be exhilarating. I read a article where one of the crew talked about how she looked around her home before the launch and how she loved her humble little life and how during the flight she missed it. She said "I know a morning cup of coffee on the porch with your best friend is a simple and universally small thing. But it is a

This month marks four years that we moved to Mesquite. April was a month that we had a number of significant milestones in our lives. Of course Jennifer had her Birthday every year, but we also started our careers with Marathon in April 1991 in Louisiana. The last April milestone was finally procuring our home here and getting our stuff shipped up here. August was another month we had significant milestones. So the “A” months were always interesting. In some ways it seem

Today would have been Jennifer’s 59th Birthday. I still have a very hard time wrapping my head around the fact that she is no longer here with me. I never imagined the pain I would feel without her. The pain is both emotional, as well as physical. You just take for granted that your spouse will be with you and you really don’t dwell on who might go first, or at least I did not. Last night was a rough night, I dreamt about her all night. The dreams, as near as I can remem

I had a nice Easter. I went to Vegas and spent it with the Benner’s and O’Connors. The Benner’s minus Bode went to a performance of “The Notebook” at the Smith Center and Bode and I went to the golf driving range and hit some balls and putted. We had a good time. I know this is weird, but, on the trip going and coming I could feel/sense Jennifer in the car with me and could hear her voice in my head on both the rides. She would have so enjoyed the day. It was a beautiful

The past couple of weeks I have had some pretty strong flashbacks to the day that Jennifer passed and also episodes of survivors guilt. There is no rhyme or reason when these what I will call “flashback episodes” occur. I had one in the shower yesterday that was particularly strong and it did cause me to get a little shooked and teared up. I see her face and especially her eyes and how they were vacant and had the life had drained from them as I was doing CPR on her. I kno

These last few weeks there has been activities that Jennifer would have really enjoyed. Our Bocce Club had a tournament and I think she would have enjoyed playing in it. These types of events were normally not her thing. I have mentioned before that “team sports” were not her thing. She was more a individualist, but for whatever reason she did like playing Bocce. She had her unique way of measuring who was closest. She would use her feet, instead of getting the measurin

Evenings are tough. That is when I really really miss Jennifer. Sometimes I think my grieving is just starting. It is just really sinking in that she is not here and is not going to be here. That is when it really hits me hard. Evenings are when it seems to hit the hardest and I sometimes have a hell of a time getting that off my mind. Tonight is one of those nights, I have been missing her all day and tonight is really bad. I have been busy all day doing various things

There is the old saying that opinions are like assholes, everyone has one! Last week was the State of the Union address. I will be honest I could not watch it. I just could not listen to the Orange Clown Drabble on for almost two hours. I did pull up the People’s State of the Union that was on YouTube, but will be honest I got disinterested in that as well and turned it off. Like the title of this blog post. I do have opinions on pretty much anything, if you ask me. No

This last week has been a up and down emotional week. Of course it was Valentine’s Day. I believe I have mentioned before that it was not a big holiday for us but I sure miss her when it rolls around. I was fortunate in that she was just as happy to go to a fast food restaurant as opposed to some high dollar fancy schmancy joint. However, I really do miss going with her to those places. However, one thing I really miss, is having her here to help me solve those gaps in his

Harry Truman had the infamous sign on his desk that the buck stops here. Well I guess that no longer applies to the Presidency. Trump post about the O’Bama’s was disgusting and the fact that they are saying some staffer posted it is such BS. The SOB is a racist no matter how you cut it. Yesterday I was driving down to Las Vegas and had the radio on the comedy channel and there was a comic on that asked the question that was doing a bit about being in trouble and he asked t

This week was the Balloon Festival here in Mesquite. The Casa Blanca Casino host the event. The year we were here Jim and Elaine came up and we attended the event. It was a pretty cold January that year, but we had fun watching the balloons take off and we went at night to watch the glow. After Jennifer passed I started helping with crew balloons. What this entails is being a person that helps get the balloon ready to inflate, helping the pilot inflate it, helping them l

Well tonight I am watching the College National Championship game between Miami and Indiana. I am pulling for Indiana. It is weird but I can almost feel Jennifer her with me. Most of the playoff games before this Championship were pretty good games. The exception was Indiana against Oregon. That was a good old fashioned beating. The pro’s have also had some good games. I was saddened to see Chicago’s magical season come to a end. Especially for my good friend CD Holter