Soccer and Alligators/Crocodiles

Well I have watched more Soccer in the last couple of weeks than I ever have in my almost 59 years of breathing. I am not hooked, but I have a better appreciation for it than I have had before.

I now understand it is more of a chess type game. It is played in 90+ minutes. About 85 of those minutes are like watching grass grow and then you maybe get 5+ minutes of edge of your seat excitement.

I thought LeBron James was the master of flopping, but he doesn’t hold a candle to these soccer players. Don’t get me wrong there are some plays where people actually do get hurt, but the vast majority of the fouls appear to be major acting jobs. I mean these guys fall down and flop around like a fish out water, crying for their Mama’s. Then a few seconds later hop up and are back out playing. If they don’t get the call they are incensed and glaring at the referee. I mean there are some Oscar worthy performances going on in some of these games.

I still don’t understand all of the rules/terminology of the game, but I am starting to get a better handle on it. Again I have a much better handle on the fact there is a fair bit of strategy and maneuvering that occurs during these games and is about as exciting as watching paint dry. However it is amazing to watch the ball handling skills that some of these players have.

Yesterday’s World Cup games were pretty climatic endings. Brazil had to come from behind in extra minutes to beat Japan. Paraguay upset Germany in a sudden death penalty shootout. Monaco beat the Netherlands in a penalty shootout.

I bet the guy that made the sudden death penalty goal for Paraguay will never have to pay for a beer in Paraguay ever again. Anyway, I don’t think I will ever be a huge soccer fan, I just don’t have the patience for it. However since Heath and Case play it, I am trying to better understand the game. Also I had been watching the series “Welcome to Wexham” on Hulu. If you have not seen or heard about that series, check it out. It is pretty interesting.

On another topic I guess the alligators and crocodiles of the world got pissed off that sharks were trying to corner the market on biting/eating humans. It is almost like they are telling the sharks to “hold my beer”. They have been out in force the last couple of days biting and eating humans like it is buffet at a Golden Corral.

This morning I was watching the CBS morning show and they interviewed a couple that had tried to help a young guy that was getting eaten by a crocodile in Mexico. The wife was bitching that the resort where this happened only had one sign that informed them that there were multiple species of animals they should be aware of and they did not have enough signage about the crocodiles. All I can say is “Come on Man”, use your God Damn Common Sense. These people would be the same people that would try and pet the big hairy cows in Yellowstone park and then would be surprised that the big hairy cows don’t like to be petted.

Now don’t get me wrong I have done some stupid shit in my life. I have water skied in alligator infested waters in Louisiana. That was stupid for multiple reasons. One is (I know you will find this amazing) I am not a good water skier. So I spent a fair amount of time bobbing around in that alligator infested water. However, I can assure you my head was on a swivel as I scanned those waters looking for any beady eyes and wakes. Don’t know what I would have done, because I am obviously not Jesus Christ and can’t walk on water, but I probably would have given it hell trying. I also knew the risk I was taking and there were tons of other people doing the same thing so I figured I would not be the only eaten if a gator was crazy enough to be in the area. Frankly I was more concerned about snakes than I was gators.

Well I got to go take in a truck load of aluminum cans in to be recycled. Maybe it will pay for the gas to take them in. So I better get going.