Hard Pill to Swallow

For the past several days, I have been working on gathering photographs of various periods of Jennifer's life for her Memorial Services. Most of these are old photographs that I then in turn digitize and upload to our computer. This has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I have experienced a lot good memories, especially as I find pictures from our school years (in particular our high school years), but I have also shed a boat load of tears.

Jennifer and I did not start dating until our Senior Year in high school, so coming across the old photos of us and our dates to various high school dances has been fun. Seeing how young and skinny we were makes me happy. I was actually able to share a couple of those photos with a couple of her old dance dates.

She would always say that the reason she asked me to our senior year Twirp (girl ask boy) dance is because I had gotten the reputation from the females in my class as a "known ask back" and she sure as hell was not going to take the chance of missing her Senior Prom. She was betting on the sure deal. My mother had instilled in me that if a girl asked me to a dance then I would reciprocate by asking that girl back to the following dance. I think I have mentioned she was pretty smart and knew how to get the end results she wanted.

Anyway I also came across photos that I know were important to her, because she would talk about them. For example I found the photos of her with a Santa Clause that had come to a Christmas party at someone's house (I believe it was her Aunt Helen's, but could be wrong) and she was so excited. She had long hair that was in braids and she talked about how she was so excited when Santa came that she was playing with her braids and putting them in her mouth. Almost every Christmas she would tell me about that party. So am happy I found those and will have them in the celebration of her life.

I also found the newspaper clipping from the front page of the Montana Standard with her sitting on Santa's Lap. The caption on the photo is "Jennifer Dysinger not knowing what to ask for". She had obviously used this for some school project, because at the top of the yellowed article she had written: " My proudest moment when I got my picture in the paper with Santa Claus".

We also had a fair number of photos of Jennifer holding a large chunk of our nieces and nephews when they were babies and then also photos of her holding the babies of our nieces and nephews.

She loved to hold babies. However, she did not like to change them. She always joked that she was the Aunt that her nieces and nephews could come to for bail money, but not the Aunt to come to for changing their diapers.

A lot of Jennifer's family had given Jennifer the nickname "Min" shortened from Minnie. Some of our older nieces and nephews will tell you that they did not want Aunt Min to be their baby sitter, they would prefer to have Aunt Janice babysit because she was a soft touch vs Aunt Min who was not a soft touch.

I also got photos of Jennifer that family and friends sent me for which I am grateful. Some the friend photos are from various trips that we had taken over the years. Between work and pleasure us two kids from Butte America did get to see a decent chunk of the world.

While doing all,this photo work makes me happy, it also a hard pill to swallow when I realize that we will not get to take any more photos. I guess I better get used to it, because I have a lot more of these situations ahead of me.

Anyway I am working hard to do her justice in putting this photo montage together. She was a special gal and I want to send her off her right.