Blessed

I hope those of you are following this blog will indulge me today as I need to share some feelings on this very special day.

Over the years if and when I had discussions with people about Jennifer and my relationship or just life in general, I would tell them we were blessed, and we truly were and still are. Even if it does not feel that way right now and I assure it does not.

Today I will celebrate the 34 years that Jennifer and I shared as husband and wife. Were they all glorious years. Hell no! But today I would not trade a damn one of them. There were many a day that I know she would have gladly kicked me to the curb or probably fantasized how she could kill me and get away with it (She did like to listen to "Forensic Files" on the satellite radio when we traveled). I often wondered if that was so she could find the way to pull off the perfect murder.

I think the recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship should have been called "compromise" instead of "marriage". Because in my opinion that is what marriage is all about. Learning to compromise. I am the oldest sibling in my family and Jennifer was the baby in her family. So of course, we both thought we should get what we wanted.

Many of our marital disputes were over things where one or both of us did not want to compromise. Now I will grudgingly admit that Jennifer was pretty crafty and a hell of lot smarter about getting us to a compromise position. There was more than one occasion that after the dust had settled that I realized she had gotten me. However, she could convince you that you were the one that came out on top. Those babies of the family are the ones that you need to watch out for. If she was really desperate and losing traction she would pull out the big guns . The tears and the pout. That would usually break me.

I swear she could cry on demand. I don't know how many times I caught her crying about something on TV or in some movie (fictional or real) or something she was reading. Usually, some romance type book , I don't know how many times I said that it just TV dear or some made up situation. She would say I know but it was sad, or so romantic.

In reality I know she compromised much more than I did in our 34 years together I know that I am what polite people would say is an "acquired taste" the not politically correct would just say asshole.

I have many faults. I have no patience, (she often joked that I had all the patience in the world, because I had never used any of it). I am quick/hot tempered and can go from calm to pissed off in milliseconds. I am opinionated, if you don't want my opinion don't ask, because if you do, you are going to get what I think whether you like it or not. However, she could look past all of my faults and loved me unconditionally. God I will miss that!

I would give anything in the world to hear one more "God Damnit Joe" come from her lips. Believe me in saying that I heard that a lot in 34 years. Especially when I left the lid off the toothpaste. I will be honest, sometimes I did it intentionally, just to get her Irish up and it never failed. I would hear about it. But seconds later she would kiss me and say I love you as we went to bed.

We were blessed to have a very close relationship. Not many people could work together with their spouse professionally. We prided ourselves in the fact that we always kept it professional. Believe me that we had many disagreements professionally as well as personally.

We were blessed that we worked for a company that hired us as a married couple and allowed us to work in close proximity together. There were times that it was tough, especially at performance evaluation and raise times. We both learned to put our ego's aside about who got the higher rating/raise for the year and would cheer for each other. We were each other's cheerleader. Hey it all helped the same bottom line in the checkbook.

We were blessed to be able to retire early on our own choice. I often thought COVID robbed us of many things we wanted to do (travel, time spent with our families, etc), but maybe it did just the opposite it gave us the opportunity to spend a lot of time together as a couple. We tried to make the best of it and did a lot of fun and goofy things together. We would go in our backyard and play a golf chipping game, we would listen to a lot of music together, we went thru photos and cleaned out closets, we set up a little gym in the second master bedroom bathroom and worked out together (it was a very big bathroom).

The great Texas snowstorm of February 2021 was also an event that would have broken up a lot of couples. While I would like to say it was a cake walk, it was challenging, but not because of the time spent together. We were blessed to have had power for the whole event and never had any of the rolling blackouts that the vast majority of people in the San Antonio area did. What we did not have was running water and let me tell you not having water for 6 days was a challenge. We fortunately had four bathtubs and filled those all with water when it was coming clear that there were going to be issues. About Day 4 we both decided we needed to take a bath and we did the whole heat water on the stove and haul it into one of the showers and sponged cleaned up some. It was such a relief when we got water back and that first hot shower was glorious.

We were blessed that we both agreed to not have children. I know many folks can't comprehend that and that is fine, that is your opinion. We both figured that between the two families we had enough nieces and nephews that would step up if/when we needed to go the rest home provided, we had a little coin in the bank for their troubles. This choice was never because we did not like kids. We adorn them, just as long as they are someone else's. We love every one of our numerous nieces and nephews, and that group just keeps getting larger as we added a new addition to that group this month. So those that are old enough to read this post remember that there will be some coin in the bank when old Uncle Joe gets to the point, he needs a home. The last couple of years we said we were glad we did not have kids, because how screwed up our country and world has become that we did not leave our kids with the mess to clean up.

We were blessed to have the same political and religious beliefs. I will just leave it at that.

We are blessed to have two families that enjoyed and loved each others company and adopted each other. Our parents enjoyed each other's company and would do things together and communicate with each other even if we were not involved or present. When our families have events everyone just jumped in to help. The Sologub girls both benefitted immensely having the Dysinger clan to help with setting up and cleaning up at their weddings. We never had to sweat splitting times between the two families. Jennifer always enjoyed her position as the favorite daughter-in-law.

34 years ago Jennifer's dad was happy to celebrate what became known as the Grand Finale. When Mick gave me Jennifer's hand at the end of isle in the Church he said "No Deposit, No return". Well the son of a bitch lied to me. He took here back from me on August 8, 2023. However him and Rose must have needed her and I am glad they are together in heaven and I pray they are celebrating today.

I am blessed that Jennifer left me in good hands. I have a strong family and friend support group that will help me get through this. I will never get over it, but I am stubborn and tough enough to get thru it. I am blessed, but it sure hurts today and will for the days to come. For those that are still reading. Thank you for indulging me.

Love and Thank you to all of you.