The Blue Funk

Well I made the trip to and from Vegas with no traffic problems. I left very early (4:30 am) got to the Benner's at 6:00. Had a quick cup of coffee and short visit, loaded up and was back in Mesquite by 8:30 am. So my plan for once paid off! The traffic at the Race Track exit was building. The line was almost to the Interstate but it was moving slowly and not impacting the interstate flow. Traffic coming into Vegas was heavier than when I came in. Anyway it worked out.

The Bocce potluck was a smashing success in my opinion. Kudos to Margot and Allen for organizing it. Lots of good food and music and visiting.

The ride home yesterday had gotten me in a little bit of a funk. I got to thinking/reflecting on all of the things that we thought we would or were doing in retirement and knowing that many of those will now not happen (at least together) as we planned. It just hurts like hell.

Going to the pot luck helped me get out of the funk, but coming home from it last night the funk kind of returned. I know she would have enjoyed the event. She would not have necessarily enjoyed the food like I did, just because of her finicky palate, but she would have made do and she would have enjoyed the desert choices. She also would have enjoyed playing bocce after the pot luck. So that made me sad as I was coming home.

I know it is just something that I am going to need to work through and I know I will, but I also know that the hurt and emptiness is always going to be there. So I need to suck it up and realize that we had 34 damn good years, remember the good times and I know that she will always be with me in spirit as I do things she would have enjoyed.

All indications are that the kitchen backsplash is going in today. So hopefully that also goes as planned, so my streak of good things keeps going.