Lots of Emotions Today!

I have so many different emotions running through me today and I am missing Jennifer terribly. I miss having her here to visit and vent my feelings about all of the things that have transpired the last couple of days. So I am very saddened today.

I have lots of anger on many fronts. I am terribly sorry for the family of Charlie Kirk, especially his children. His children are too young to comprehend his passing, but in time they will be haunted by the video’s showing his assignation. For that I am terribly sorry. I am sorry for his wife, because I am sure she never thought he would pass this way.

Sadly and I am ashamed of myself for this, but I don’t feel all that bad for him. In my opinion, he fucked around and found out that his rhetoric did have consequences. He certainly was entitled to have his own opinions/views on things in our world. He (again in my opinion) brainwashed a lot of young people into his way of thinking. He was supposedly a “good Christian”, but I don’t buy that. His rhetoric on many issues were again in my opinion very unchristian. They fall into the category of racist, bigoted, and fascist. I know you should not talk ill of the dead, but this guy was part of the political world driving the divide that is getting wider and wider in the country. Did he have points that were valid. Yes he did, but a broken clock is correct two times a day.

I am angered at the hypocrisy of our politicians (all parties) in this country and saying the rhetoric needs to be dialed down, yet they all continue to point fingers and dialing it up.

I am angry that our country’s flags are being flown at half staff in Charlie Kirk’s honor and that our President is awarding him the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Of course he cheapened that honor a long time ago, when he awarded it to Rush Limbaugh. Again, with the office comes the ability to do what you want, so I guess we just have grin and bear it. However, I don’t agree with it.

Since the suspected shooter has not been captured, there is still a lot to learn. Some we will probably never know. Was the shooter a conservative or liberal? What drove him to choose this route? Was he hired to conduct this hit?

I don’t like conspiracy theory’s, but I find myself wondering if this was a contract hit by his own kind, in particular the President. It would not shock or surprise me if that were to be the case. Maybe the Orange Messiah thought someone was getting too big for his britches and decided to remove him from the picture. He was supposedly pushing to get the Epstein files released, which I am sure put him at odds with Chettolini. I have absolutely no faith in this Department of Justice giving the American Public the full true story when this all said and done. Of course the orange clown is heaping praise on the guy and keeping Charlie’s brainwashed army of followers in his court. I am ashamed that my mind goes there, but it does.

I am angered at how much coverage this event is getting and how little coverage or conversation of the school shooting in Colorado yesterday is getting. Has our country become so desensitized to these school shootings that are occurring all to frequently.

Having so many family and friends that are teachers and/or students, it concerns me greatly and makes me sick thinking about it.

Of course today is the anniversary of 9/11 and I have a lot of memories of that day. I remember driving from Houston to Dallas to pick up Jennifer, because her flight got grounded there. I remember the discussions we had on the trip back to Houston and the shock of what had happened. It is amazing how much is still being learned and how many victims remains have still not been identified. While that is getting some coverage, it is being overshadowed by the Kirk shooting.

So today is not a good day for my emotions, I would give everything I have to have her here today, even though I know there would be a lot of tears and emotions from her. I know I would be spending the day assuring her that things are going to be Ok, even though I am unsure of that.

Anyway, I am missing her terribly and I do fear for our country, because I don’t feel we have any leaders that can lead us out of this mess.