Joyful But Also Painful Memories

I have written how Jennifer and my wedding was pretty large. We were so blessed to have so many people who came and celebrated that day with us. We were also blessed to receive a bounty of gifts. China pieces were many of those gifts. Jennifer had registered for the China and I really was blasé about the whole China thing, but if it made her happy that was fine with me. We ended up with 13 place settings of China. Jennifer was a little concerned about it being 13, but I guess that did not matter in the long run.

That China was moved 8 times during our marriage. We only had one piece that got broken that was the teapot. The pattern that Jennifer chose was canceled a year or two after we got married, so replacing it was challenging. There is a company that does specialize in replacing China and we considered doing it, but ended up not doing it. Mainly because we rarely used the damn stuff.

I bet we used the fine China a grand total of 5 times when she was alive. Mainly because we always hand washed it and that was a bunch of extra work and secondly we just did not entertain in the fashion of where fine China was needed. We were more the paper plate and red solo cup entertainers. Even that was not all that much.

I am having some folks down to the house for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I made the decision that what the hell I am going to break out the China and use it to serve dinner. Yesterday I started getting it out and started hand washing it. While I was doing that so many memories of our years together started to go through my mind. All of them were joyful memories, but at the same time it was painful. If she was here we would have probably had many of those same memories and we would have enjoyed reliving them together. Realizing that just really hurt.

Anyway, I will use it. Over the years I have come to realize that China is one of the biggest waste of money. If you go to thrift stores or estate sales you will see these peoples sets of China going for penny’s on the dollar. I have often looked at some of these and had visions of ladies that protected that China like it was the Crown Jewels. Only used for extra special events or family gatherings , just to have it end up on a table at a Estate Sale or a shelf of a thrift shop. So I guess I will get some return on the investment for the folks that bought it for us.

Like I mentioned there were so many memories that flowed through me while I was washing it. I could hear her voice in my head and see her face. So that was good, but I would give anything to have had her here with me.

I wrote this a couple of days ago and just realize I did not post it.