“Happy Heavenly New Years Dear”

Last night I started down the road of three years without Jennifer by my side. I really wish I could say it is easier, but it is not. I still miss her so very much.

As I rang in the new year last night, I had to laugh. This was for several reasons. The first reason was that I actually made it to midnight. In the last years of our marriage we hardly ever stayed up until midnight. However, in San Antonio we always knew when it was midnight because our neighbor hood turned into what life in the middle of Gaza must be like. The intensity of the fire works being lit went up significantly at midnight. So even if we had been asleep for maybe a hour to hour and a half the increase of the “big gun” fireworks let you know. Usually one or the other of us would roll over and we would kiss and say happy new year and then roll over and go back to sleep.

Jennifer and I were never “big party” people on New Years. We did attend numerous parties over the years, but no big blowouts or wake up with a lamp shade on our head moments. We had some fun ones, but usually we just enjoyed lay back type evenings watching TV. She would maybe watch more of the “ball drop” shows than I did, I would, usually watch football games and then maybe whatever holiday movie may be on. We never really had a tradition for any thing New Years related.

Anyway, I made it to midnight last night, but I will be honest, I made it by the hair on my chinny chin chin. I think my head hit the pillow seven minutes (that is the last time I remember looking at my watch) after midnight and I was out. Now I must admit, I was impressed because I was working on only three hours of sleep from the night before. I got back to Mesquite about 12:30 am (thanks to Margot and Allen picking me up in St George). Then I fiddle farted around getting the house back online (water turned on, several things plugged back in etc) and finally got to bed around 2:00 am and then woke up at 5:00 am and could not go back to sleep and finally quit fighting it and just out of bed.

I finished unpacking and did some laundry and watched football and got ready to meet up with the gang at Kim and Bills house last night. We had a very nice laid back dinner and the played a game of “Apple to Apple” before we called it a evening. Jennifer would have really enjoyed last night and I so missed not having her there.

It is funny because sometimes in my head I can see and hear her react to things that happen at these parties. Or at least I anticipate how she would respond. So if someone makes a funny comment or tells a funny story, I can hear her in my head giggling or laughing. It is hard to explain, because I am usually enjoying the moment myself, but I can also feel her enjoying the moment.

Well enough for today. My blood pressure is getting raised because of a piece that just came on about Christian Nationalism on CNN and it is pissing me off and if Jennifer was her she would be going bat shit crazy. It was about this pastor in Moscow, Idaho and his church which now old Whisky Pete Hegseath is now a member. Was absolutely scary piece in my opinion.

All I can say is that It is going to be a long three years, but with 2026 being her now we are closer to the nightmare hopefully being over. So happy heavenly new year dear! I miss you terribly.